I noticed today that I have been mostly absent from social media in all of its forms for almost 12 months. When I gently left social media last August I didn’t intend to be gone for almost a year. I simply felt the winter descent coming upon me as September arrived.
I always embrace the winter descent and I knew my messaging might be different come the spring so I decided I would wait for it to be fully formed before I let the world know what had been created.
As a Scorpio, I look forward every year to the deep dive that winter will bring. The shedding of patterns that no longer serve me, an opportunity to go deeply mining for limiting beliefs and subconscious frameworks that no longer serve me and yet still define who I am as a person.
I step into the magic of this time knowing my work will be cut out for me and trusting when I emerge in the spring I am renewed, I am reborn and I am utterly reshaped.
I honestly no longer recognise myself.
This year I began in September to dismantle the subconscious frameworks of other people’s ideas of who I need to be in the world to make them comfortable while mostly making myself completely miserable and utterly disempowered. I investigated where other people’s frameworks and their ideas of the world had more authority over me than my own.
Where I was BEING who they wanted me to be so I was DOING what made them safe and HAVING a life that was left when everyone else was happy but not really me.
I began with obvious places to look at what subconscious frameworks did I have that didn’t serve me; society or parents’ messages I was given as a child was a good place to begin. However it didn’t finish there, even friends or lovers and their messages came under the microscope.
As the months went on my deeply authentic self emerged from underneath the messages, limitations and lessons I had learned. With each passing day and week, I became more and more who I was born to be and in some ways who had always been. I took the time to dismantle and question everything that I believed about so many areas of my life. To reshape them to suit myself, to decide what I wanted for my own life.
Who did I want to BE in the world in this area?
Is this the version of me that I can thrive with and love the life I build?
With a steady dedication and support from my energy tools – be it Mindset Priming, EFT, hypnotherapy or epigenetics, I began to rebuild my subconscious self-image. Rebuilding who I knew myself to be in the world from the inside out, into somebody I truly recognised and loved and understood to be my authentic self.
Usually, the pattern of my winter descent is that when February and March come around I am ready to emerge completely and fully into the world having shed my skin like a snake or like a phoenix rising from the ashes ready to embrace the more authentic version of myself and the power and freedom that comes with it.
However this year, February heralded the beginning of an even deeper letting go of my fears and hesitations and reshaping of my subconscious self-image to embrace my full potential.
An old friend re-entered my life and turned it upside down (in a wonderful way) and they continued to challenge my growth, the impact mostly unbeknown to them. The next few months were a period of intense growth and surrender. I am eternally in their debt for being the catalyst for this.
Another friend who has become a constant companion this last year walked every day with me and I can never thank her enough. I couldn’t have done it without you, Camilla.
I love them both deeply.
She was with me every day. So much that I was unofficially energetically invited into her marriage because I was in her life so often that her husband has accepted my constant presence in their lives.
Historically I’m not someone who cries a lot. Well since February I cried a lot for days (on one day it was constant for 27 hours). I wept for weeks and sometimes I wondered if the tears would ever stop. I allowed myself to be more vulnerable than I had been, possibly in my whole life. My heart was truly broken open with joy, love and gratitude as my true self emerged from under the layers.
Yet neither of these friends did it FOR me despite the constancy of their challenge and their support. I needed to walk each step myself, make each choice for myself.
Which choice gave me personal power in each moment?
Which choice opened me to love and deep trust at each crossroads?
I cried tears of regret, guilt for missed opportunities, for new possibilities. For the chance to once again embrace my full potential and learn to love and trust more deeply than ever before.
During this time my authentic self from this lifetime, previous ones and the inheritance of my limits and choices of my ancestry was challenged and reshaped. I kept trying to choose the strand of possibility and love over the strand of regret and loss and fear that had defined my soul for lifetimes.
The journey I have been on this last year has deeply reshaped ME but I was also being calibrated into who I would need to BE to embrace and match my new brand, the one that spoke to my authentic self and also matched the vibration of the mission and legacy I was ready to share with the world.
So nearly 12 months later here I am ready to share it with you finally. Both my business and I are in a new and exciting space with truly transformational new programmes for you to join.
I invite you to journey with me and let your powerful authentic self emerge too.
Who do you want to BE in the world, so your authentic self thrives DOING what you love HAVING the life beyond your imaginings?
Let’s create it together… I can’t wait to work with you and support your journey into your new authentic powerful self.
Love Always Emily x