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Lilith Speaks Episode 4 The Transformational Paradigm of “BE DO HAVE”

Welcome to Lilith Speaks the podcast with me your host Emily Tuck, for those who are ready to embrace the power that Lilith brings on the crossroads, for those who are ready to say YES, to themselves, to life, and to the possibilities it offers.

Hello, and welcome to this week’s episode of “Lilith Speaks” with your host Emily Tuck.

So today, I’m going to talk to you a little bit about the transformational paradigm of BE, DO, HAVE.

I found this so interesting when I finally understood it. And to be clear, it took a while for me to truly understand it.

So I’m really excited to share it with you today.
In fact, it’s one of the things that I get most excited about is the possibilities and potential that this offers.

So when I first came across it, I was having my cousin explain it to me in different ways. And I kind of knew that there was something in it, but really couldn’t see what it was, or how to implement it robustly and successfully, I guess.

And then we were having a conversation in a New Year’s Eve, we were kind of putting the World to rights on New Year’s Eve, and suddenly, something landed for me in the way that it never had, the way that I heard it differently this time.

In the in transforming that paradigm, and looking at BE DO HAVE, I could utterly transform and bespoke my life. And I’ll be honest, I’ve never been the same again, in a good way. And I want to share this with you.

Because I think with Lilith being the internal regulator of our sense of power, and the choices we make on the crossroads, who do you want?

What’s the choice you’re gonna make on the crossroads that says YES, to you to life, and to what’s out there, and then enter the World that you want to create?

In order for that to be the case, who do you need to BE in the World?

And who do you need to let go of BEing in order to step into your new possibility. So this is where “BE DO HAVE” is beautiful.

So historically, we’re taught one of two different ways of looking at things, and it’s the way that society would have you learn it, or school would teach it to you so that you keep working on things.

However, it’s not the way that the Universe responds, or the quantum responds to manifestation, it’s not the way that your subconscious, which ultimately runs the show, how it works.

So that’s why I want to go through it.One of those options is, you often hear people talk about as long as I if I HAVE this, then I’ll be able to DO this, then I’ll be able to BE this, I’ve got a couple of examples of that just to share with you to get your head around it.

As long as I HAVE money, I’ll be able to work less, therefore I’ll be able to BE around more, BE with my family more.

If I get my promotion, if I HAVE my promotion, I’ll be able to DO less hours, therefore I’ll BE able to be with my family more.

I could be if I HAVE more money, then I’ll be able to DO the hobbies that I’ve always wanted. Therefore I’ll be able to BE happy, contented, excited by life.

So it could be that in order to HAVE then you’re able to DO then you’re able to BE the downside of that approach is that if you don’t HAVE it, what if you don’t HAVE the money?

What happens if you don’t have whatever you think you need to HAVE in order to DO and BE who you want to BE?

You’re stuck, because I don’t HAVE the money. I don’t HAVE the freedom I don’t HAVE the job I think will facilitate it, therefore I can’t DO the thing I think I need to DO therefore I can’t BE there for my family can’t HAVE can’t BE working less hours to BE there for my family.

It could be that if I HAD more money, I would HAVE more time, therefore I could go travelling, I would BE someone who travelled the World.

But if you haven’t got the money to get started, how to get started?

And that version of HAVE DO BE kind of puts you in a victim space because unless you have that thing, you’re stuck. You’re stuck with what you’ve got, there’s no way you can change that until you HAVE something.

The other option is the worker version, and that’s DO HAVE BE. Which is as long as I DO this thing, so if I put more hours in, if I DO more work, then I’ll HAVE the promotion, therefore I can BE there for my family.

Or, if I put the hours in, and I DO this thing, then I’ll HAVE the promotion, therefore, I’ll be able to BE around my family and spend more time with them, or BE happy, or ultimately BE free, because the promotion has less involved.

But essentially, this version works on the basis, if I work harder than I’ll HAVE more money, therefore I’ll be able to BE happier, feel more secure, feel safer, feel more free.

But this version of the way the World works, also is always based on you need to DO more. You need to, what you’re doing is not good enough, what you’re doing isn’t enough, and it also requires permission.

Only when I’ve done that thing well enough, will I be allowed to HAVE that promotion, therefore BE that kind of person. So it’s DO HAVE BE. So again, that has you working into the ground.

So BE DO HAVE is an absolute paradigm shift, because ultimately, our subconscious, and our subconscious beliefs are who we are in the World, who we believe ourselves to BE in the World is the thing that makes the difference, who we “BE”.

And our subconscious self image decides who we’re BEing, am I somebody who knows myself to BE good at that part of my job? Am I somebody who knows myself to BE lean and fit and looking after myself? Do I know myself to BE someone who never has any money, we have beliefs that we’ve picked up from all sorts of places that decide who we subconsciously know ourselves to BE. And those beliefs come into play all the time.

But what happens is, if we try and change something, we’re now going to DO something different, and this is where things like New Year’s resolutions or taking up a new habit, sometimes it doesn’t maintain itself.

And the reason it doesn’t maintain itself is that who you know yourself to BE and what you’re trying to DO are not congruent, they don’t match.

And because the subconscious needs the World outside of you to match, in order that you don’t go crazy. You have two choices when you take up a habit that is incongruent.

So I’ll give you an example, New Year’s resolutions, or new habits often look like, “Oh, I’m going to get fit.” Okay, so first of January, you sign up at the gym, and off you go.

And you might even start getting to the gym for about the first month, maybe six weeks, if you’re really lucky, but then it starts to tail off, stuff gets in the way, didn’t get round to it today might do it tomorrow, whatever, essentially, the habit falls away, and the reason that habit falls away is that the habit you are DOing, the thing you have taken up is incongruent, with your subconscious self image of someone who is a couch potato, or hasn’t been in the gym in 25 years.

So that’s not who I’m BEing!

My subconscious self image, for example, is maybe that I was bad at sports at school. And I’m I don’t look after myself exercise wise. Therefore, if I suddenly went to the gym, I probably lost about four to six weeks before I tailed off.

So what then happens is the brain has to close that gap or subconscious has to close that gap. So we fall away that the phrase not the phrase, the concept is called cognitive dissonance.

Cognitive Dissonance is something your brain can’t cope with. So it has to close the gap. You’ve got two choices, you can either close the gap by giving up the behaviour.

We’ve all seen that with these resolutions that fall away. Or you can transform who you’re BEing into somebody who is lean, fit healthy, etc, etc.

Somebody who is motivated to exercise, somebody who looks after their body. If that’s who I know myself to BE in the World. I cannot help but go to the gym or take up yoga or whatever it is I want to DO, Because who I’m BEing has no gap between who I’m BEing and what I’m DOing. They fall into line nice and easily.

Give it enough time with the doing and suddenly I HAVE I’m a one size leaner or I’m feeling fitter or I can get up that mountain or get up that flight stairs depending on how I’m unfit you were and you started and suddenly BE DO HAVE is congruent.

So that’s where BE is the important bit transforming who you BE.

I’ve worked with a client last I told you in a previous episode, I think I worked with a client last year who I asked her to do me a testimonial and she said she couldn’t. She didn’t get round to it. I eventually asked her, How come? Are you okay about that?

And she said, she couldn’t remember who she used to BE. So she couldn’t find the original reference point to describe who she was to then explain the journey she’d been on.   

Because we’ve done so much work on transforming who she was BEing and our subconscious self image, she couldn’t find it anymore, in a good way, she hadn’t forgotten who she was, or the memories hadn’t vanished. But her emotional attachment to those belief patterns had completely vanished. So she found it harder and harder to refer back to who she was BEing.

So this is where changing who you BE, or transforming who you BE, has such an amazing impact, because you genuinely you rewrite your neural pathways, you rewrite who you’re BEing in the World.

And then the World moves around you to match that, therefore, you HAVE the life you’ve always wanted.

So when I’m thinking about working when you’re thinking about working with Lilith, or coming to work with me as a result of hearing this and thinking, God that sounds exciting. What’s that about?

What happens is, if Lilith is our internal regulator of our decisions, what’s the YES?

On the crossroads that she is guiding us to?

In that moment What’s the Yes? And what’s the action that will match that Yes?

And maybe you can do that task in that moment. And it’s really easy, and other times when it’s really difficult.                                                              I know what the YES is, but I’m doing the No, I’m doing the version that is like a NO!

So I know that my YES answer is that I eat healthily, but I’m standing next to biscuit tin, and I fancy the biscuit, So I’m gonna have the biscuit. Not problem in that moment.

However, I now know that that is something that is not working for my Yes. So I’m not making the powerful choice that Lilith is guiding me to.

So I can take that into work, what can I do with the subconscious to transform that so that maybe in a week’s time, couple of weeks time, I can walk up to the biscuit, Or maybe not even walk up to it, I might walk up to it and choose not have a biscuit.

But equally, I might not even walk up to it because it’s not congruent with who I’m BEing any more, but it highlighted to me in THAT moment, a BE that needed to change in order for me to make the powerful choice.

So when I’m working with people and whether that’s in groups or one to ones, we’re transforming, that BE and all the different tools that I’ve learned focus on those subconscious tools specifically, because they do it so well.

So whether that’s EFT whether that’s hypnotherapy, whether that’s epigenetics, whether that’s a combination, whether that’s the kinesiology, we’re mixing and using them in that order to transform who you BE in the World.

And the last thing I just want to say about it, is just where we don’t necessarily know where all of these beliefs come from when we start, but our subconscious has a way of showing us the next piece in the chain. I’m going okay, this is what I thought it was about turns out, it’s about this, or this is where I started, but this is a completely different place I’m finishing. And that’s absolutely fine.

Because all of these beliefs, expectations, and attitudes that have built up who we BE in the World, have come from all sorts of places beliefs in childhood, we might have brought them with us when we arrived in the world from past lives.

We might have inherited them from epigenetic patterns, that they’re inherited patterns from our relatives, they are imitations that aren’t even ours, all sorts of places we can get these from.

So it doesn’t matter where you start, it matters what you’re trying to create.

And in focusing on what you want to create, and then find using these tools to minimize the gaps and to eliminate the gaps.

You bespoke the life you choose!

What’s the belief that will create the life I want?

What, or Who do I need to BE in order to earn that kind of money?

Who do I need to BE in order to have that kind of relationship?

Who do I need to BE in the world in order to DO that, or HAVE this? and the Universe worked with you to make that the case.

So I am so excited by BE DO HAVE when I work with people and I look forward to sharing it with you more and I look forward to you coming into my kind of vortex and my community and finding out all the different resources that are available there to help you with “BE DO HAVE” and to, at the different levels, get access to material that will help you start shifting that, because it really will change your life from the inside out, and it will never look the same again.

So now it’s up to you. Who do you choose to BE in the World?

Thank you for joining me this week on Lilith speaks podcast. I hope you enjoyed this episode as much as I enjoyed making it.

To find out more or if you feel you want to connect, you can find me at or you can join my free mighty networks called The Woman bespoke Your life with Lilith, or feel free to connect and follow me on LinkedIn and just search Emily Tuck. I can’t wait to see you there and share more about how we can bespoke your life with Lilith.

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